Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize