What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
