I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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