so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
