don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
