I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
