If that was your dad, he is hot
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
