Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Randomize
