At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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