is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
