Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
