So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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