i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
