I think I am morally bankrupt
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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