I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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