His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
