I cannot find my penis.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She said her name was "party"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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