I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
