Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
