I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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