I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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