the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
