im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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