Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
