I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
