Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
