When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize