can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
