Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
