chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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