I'll bet she douches with gravy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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