I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
