I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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