I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
