I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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