He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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