im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
