i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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