I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Randomize
