You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
