I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize