who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
soo... how was my night?
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