no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
