Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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