This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
