it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
