Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
