go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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