Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
