just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
