My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
