Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize