i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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