I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize