so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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