i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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