AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
