i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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