She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
