Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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