New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
