My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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