Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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