I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
