Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
