I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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