my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
