Swine flu. Run for my life!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
