Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
