you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
