your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
