I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
