is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
